Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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