So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
