He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
