is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
