Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Randomize
