She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
