Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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