I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
