Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
