You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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