yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
