Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
