If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
