i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
