You work out of a Hotel?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
