my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
