Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
