no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
