Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
