OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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