And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
