HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
