so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
