thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
