Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
