I just made out with a guy for $7.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
