If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
