Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
