Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
