You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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