I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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