winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This house was built for laser tag.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
