I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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