Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
