East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
