I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No I am not eating basil off your cock
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
