You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Randomize
