OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
