How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
