So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
