Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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