he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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