He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
