Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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