"it" just moved
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
