If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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