im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
