I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
