Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
