I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
