Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Everything about him screamed your future.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
